Today

We're not friends. We're not enemies. We're just strangers with some memories.

But just because we're not close anymore, doesn't mean I don't care about you.

幸福到底是什么？

Honesty doesn't always pay

I'm jealous.

These days, you're probably messaging and chatting with someone else. What I'm sadder about is that all I ever did was to tell you I liked you and yet, I'm getting this cold treatment.

Don't understand the logic.

Why am I being punished for being honest about my feelings?

Casual dinner last night

Went to friend's place to make a simple dinner - soy bean paste fish, nai bai stir fried with oyster sauce and fish soup with radish.

All done in about an hour thirty minutes time. Not too bad. I did the fish and nai bai while my friend did the fish soup.

The soy bean paste fish was a bit too salty. Will have to try it again but the other two dishes were good.

So, I guess, I can cook some :)

Soy bean paste fish

Stir fried nai bai with oyster sauce

Fish soup with radish

Would you come for dinner?

Porcupine, wanted to ask if you'd like to come over for dinner tonight. But knowing how things are at the moment, probably I already know your answer before I could even ask.

I will be going to our friend's place tonight to make miso paste fish fillet. Hope you'll have a good dinner later tonight too.

Last Saturday, we had an excellent crab party. Wish you could have been there too. We had delicious yummy crabs,  my 'famous' stir-fried tang hoon, gelato and great company.

Wonder where you'd usually have your dinners but you'd never open up much on your johari window. Sigh. Why the secrecy. Guess I'll never know.

My heart didn't die after all... it was in hibernation

That's the conclusion - that my heart can still beat. Probably I should rejoice at this. Never thought I can feel again.

So I wonder if it had ever actually died or I had just simply refused to open its doors and suppressed it to silence.

But alas, never thought I'd open it to yet another dead end.

I guess, the happily ever after type of ending is just very difficult to find and one really needs to put in a lot of effort to find it.

I've been said that I have high expectations but I just want to find something or someone who'd make my heart skip a beat now, then and forever. I've met nice guys, great guys but some times, they just don't give me that butterfly in the stomach feeling. It might be unrealistic or overrated and maybe, not everyone gets to have her prince charming but I just want to have that, even if it is for a short while.

However, sadly, every time I do get that, the other party would turn out to be so wrong for me. But I know I don't want to settle.

I want to find my romance and hopefully hang on to it for life. I want to feel my heart and stomach do somersaults each time he is around.

Guess, I will just have to keep trying.

"Emotionally: I thought I was done. Mentally: I was drained. Spiritually: I felt dead. Physically: I could still smile"

喜怒哀乐

你的沉默真的是我的折磨

这到底是什么游戏？又要让人心动却又不行动？你难到需要证明什么？

你心里的那个她的地位，我不会想要代替

可是请你也不要把我或任何别人当做她的暂时代替品

我不想要你的道歉，只要你好好反省

真的希望你能好好去爱惜她人和自己