別再讓我為你受折磨

如果你不愛我就放了我
別再讓我為你受折磨
你的承諾愛的枷鎖
都讓它隨風而過

如果你不愛我就放了我
別再讓我為你繼續淪落
所有快樂變成沉默
狠狠刺傷我心窩
無法掙脫

-- 別再讓我為你受折磨(喬嘉)

你的沉默，我的折磨

小豪猪：

对我来说，你的沉默不是个答案，反而是个折磨。
你自己对我说过的。。。Don’t be evil。

如果你不想把心里的话说出来，也罢。

我只请求你别再让我有机会一直在你的周围继续沦落。
别再给我发不必要的短讯除非是有关我们旧同事。

别再给我多于的机会单独联系你。

If I have a relapse and msg you first, don't reply no matter what.

在这时后，我才真的需要你的沉默。

给你这个朋友空间平静下来。
好让我和我的心有新的机会走出你的影子, 再重新呼吸。

谢谢。

Now

“She didn't belong anywhere and she never really belonged to anyone. And everyone else belonged somewhere and to someone. People thought she was too wonderful. But she only wanted to belong to someone. People always thought she was too wonderful to belong to them or that something too wonderful would hurt too much to lose. And that's why she liked him-- because he just thought she was crazy.”
― C. JoyBell C.

Present with the past

Recently, I've been catching up with my ex staff.

Thanks to my new job, I've been travelling to places and meeting with my old team and it's great to catch up, check in how they are and reminisce the old days.

I don't know if I'd ever become the best people manager but I do know I've got friends whom I can catch up in so many various places - from Australia, to Malaysia, Korea, Japan, Hong Kong, Taiwan and China. Oh.. And US too :)

Guess nett of it all, I might not be the best manager but I definitely have to be a nice person (at least nice enough that people bother to want to meet up with me)

:)

Moving along with history

I realised how weak willed I am.

I mean I knew I was never a strong willed, determined person but last Thursday, I gave in to my weakness and texted my prick.

Although I liked it, I knew it was not going to amount to anything more than what it was.

Yes, I finally got my hug after 6 long months and not sure if I'd ever get to have it again.

Much as I try to put this history behind me, I think I have to accept that it'd always follow me no matter what.

So long as I know how to manage it and tell myself always to be still my heart, I should be fine right? One can only hope that I don't sink any further than I already have.

Last Friday's lim jiu session with the kakis was interesting as we talked about our single status. Nett of it all is how can we compartmentalize relationships into 3 simple buckets like love, lust and companionship and know which one we want for now.

Of course, one would wish every relationship could have these 3 elements at the same volume but some times, you just need to know certain relationships can only fill but only one bucket.

Me? I'm greedy as always. I want all three and wish there's some guy out there who can fill the 3 buckets. But if I can only choose one bucket a time... erm, then may I have three guys, one for each bucket? :P

The tira with no misu

My first attempt at this lovely Italian dessert was not to be... I wanted to try my hand at it and went about to 'collect' the ingredients and borrowed a whisking machine from friend.

The steps looked easy and thought I could once again marvel at my success in the kitchen chemistry but alas, the outcome was disappointing. The taste was right but the texture was all wrong. Either I had under whisked the eggs and cream or I had done a too damn good a job at it....

I was told getting the tiramisu right was not an easy task and guess I had to be proven right again.

Will try my hands at this again and hopefully, I'd be second time lucky.

My new baby

I didn't go through the 9 months or any laborious delivery but I think it is almost similar experience.

After 3 long months of agony and waiting after waiting, the Bimmer is finally here.

I will give it all the TLC it needs and spend time to understand it.

Anyway, it does feel like a new exciting toy!